I thought the circumstance dire
as my nostrils flooded with smoke.
I became cautious as I sensed the fire.
Could it have been a rotten wire
that may have cracked or broke?
He came and to his arms I did retire.
My breathing began to tire
as I began to gasp and choke
I became cautious as I sensed the fire.
The air was getting drier
and my lungs began to revolt,
He came and to his arms I did retire.
The feeling of safety had been a liar
And I wished this was just a joke.
I became cautious as I sensed the fire.
As time began to expire,
My hero threw me a rope
I became cautious as I sensed the fire
He came and to his arms I did retire.
This was written for Magpie Tales. Click the link to read some terrific writers or to post something of your own.
caty, i promise to get back here soon and read your magpie but first i have to tell you that i've nominated you to receive a wonderful award, only there are strings attached. i understand if you don't want to mess with it...but will we still be friends????
ReplyDeletelove the repitition...its rather enchanting...this could be read a few ways too...very literally a scary situation, to be in a fire....my grandfather was a fireman...and then it could be read metaphorically...either way, good thing your hero found you...smiles.
ReplyDeleteI like the rhytm and the repetition very much. A great Magpie!
ReplyDeleteLovely Magpie, great imagery.
ReplyDeleteI thought it might have been a song as I was reading it. It's a great poem too though! I have felt like this quite often.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing, Caty. Good Magpie.
ReplyDeleteNice rhyme patterns here!
ReplyDeleteI, too, liked the rhythm and repetition! Nice post!
ReplyDeleteLove the repetition and rhymes...taut and tense poem
ReplyDeletebeautiful with the right touch of mystery!
ReplyDeleteI love the style of this poem. The flow of it is fantastic and I love the rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the nice comments everyone :)
ReplyDeleteCouldn't help noticing your Little People pics :)
ReplyDeleteYou write in villanelle form very well. Thanks
"He came and to his arms I did retire." very instantaneous. i loved the repartition and the kind of magnetic flow of this poem.
ReplyDelete