Wednesday, May 26, 2010

to do or not to do...


I am so restless all of a sudden and I can't decide what mood to be in.  I've actually had a pretty productive day today.  I worked for several hours on my photography assignment, and then I cleaned my house.  After which, I attempted to mow my yard, but it turned into a bit of a lawnmower fiasco.  My riding mower is on loan so I try to baby it.  Today after filling it with gas and checking the oil, I started it and pulled it out of the shed...only to find it smoking and stinky.  So I turned it off, made a call to my uncle (it's his mower), and he proceeds to tell me to use it anyway.  Yeah right!  I am pretty competent, but I am not about to use a smoking loud stinky lawnmower that I don't own.  What if I blow up the engine??

Anyway, now I have nothing to do and it's a beautiful day outside.  Guess I could take a walk or go for a run.  I kind of feel like doing nothing but my mind and my body won't let me sit still.  I know where this restlessness is stemming from.  I have a decision to make-something I really want-but I don't know if it's really in my best interest.  Is it going to benefit or harm me in the long run?   It involves others too, so is it going to benefit or harm them?   I've been thinking through the pro's and con's of this decision and it's got me edgy and restless.  I guess, this too shall pass...I just hope when it does, it's because I made the right decision.


  1. There are no right or wrong decision. Just decisions that create our history and grade a path for our future. In your case I hope the decision brings happiness to you and those around you.

  2. i'm someone who spends a lot of time thinking over decisions i need to make. i feel as you do, caty, wondering if what i choose will help/hurt me/others. maybe it's in the female psyche but we have this nurturing quality that wants to 'mother', protect and grow those around us.
    what i hear you saying is that you'd like to benefit from this but you don't want to do that if someone else will have to pay a price for it.
    i promise to say a prayer for you because some decisions really need clarity! you'll done fine, i just know it!

  3. oh and I took a long run, cleared my head a bit, and I'm feeling much better :)

  4. sorry i am late in getting here, our net went out last night...glad you took that run...for me its usually a long walk in the woods when i need to clear my head. best of wishes for the decision...i try to filter mine through my past experiences and my future goals...

  5. Good Evening:

    Oh, my, hope that u r doing better now.
    Sorry that u need some fresh air...
    Talk to people or get out to dine and walk in shopping mall, ...try your best.
    you will survive.


  6. your uncle sounds like one of my uncles. the other uncle would hustle over and take it apart on the lawn until he figured out what was wrong. really enjoyed the transparency of your piece. glad i stopped by.


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