Thursday, February 11, 2010

Had a good day today...

I have been gloriously busy, but I finally have the next four days off.  Although I can use the break, I'm a little scared about having any downtime.  I don't want to be able to take any time to think about him.  I have been feeling my heart get a little stronger each day.  I am able to think about our time together and it doesn't overwhelm me with sadness.  Thinking about him with his new wife, though, still sends an nasty jolt straight through my heart.

I am slowly realizing that my life will go on and it will be ok without him in it.  I'm feeling strong enough this week to move on and maybe allow myself to date someone again.  That thought still scares me a little too much though.

I haven't heard from him in two weeks, and there are days that I want so badly to text him.  I can't allow myself to do that, though.  I need to continue to get stronger and not regress backwards.  If I text him and he doesn't answer me back, it would break my heart all over again.  I can't let that happen.  I haven't been able to ignore his texts when they do come, but I am not going to be the one to initiate contact.

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