Last night, I fell asleep fast. I am physically and emotionally draining myself. I did have some crazy dreams that I can't completely recall, but left me with that uneasy feeling upon waking. I woke early having fallen asleep once again on the couch, but couldn't bare to get up and get started. I laid there until 1145 this morning; I think depression may have found me.
I haven't found myself crying in over a week, but the sadness and the dull ache continues to show their presence. I know I need to move on; I really do. I need to stop dwelling on him being with her and married. It breaks my heart and makes me sick on my stomach whenever those thoughts seize me.
After this, am I ever going to be able to feel love for someone else? Will I be comfortable and able to trust another? Will I forever be alone because of how broken this has made me?
I am already finding myself looking forward to the weekend hoping to hear from him. What if I don't? Will I be devastated all over again? What am I doing to myself?