Monday, March 8, 2010

Monday again...

The weeks are flying by.  I don't like it, but I am really glad that the weather is getting warmer finally.

I'm making plans and trying to move on with my life.  Saturday is the anticipated blind date. I'm having dinner at my friend's house to meet this friend of hers.  I'm liking the casual set up of the whole situation.  It could be a step in the right direction.  She says she has a feeling about us.

I have some spring and summer plans lined up.  I have tickets to Daughtry and Lifehouse in June.  My girlfriends and I are planning a beach trip in June too.  Plus, I have a weekend trip to the beach planned at the end of this month.  We are thinking about a ziplining adventure soon.  I'm running a 5K in April and have been practicing for that-I allowed myself to buy some new running shoes today.  I've been spending a lot of time with my best friends; they have been a God send.  I am so blessed that they are a part of my life.  In addition to all that, I am working three jobs.

I am a work in progress.  Eventually, I'm going to have to spend some time alone with myself to see where I really am in this whole "healing of the heart" process.  Right now, I'm just trying to stay busy and avoid feeling the sadness.  One day soon, it won't be there anymore.  I know I'll be ok and my life will be fun again.  I really do miss him, but I think I'm mostly afraid that I will never feel for someone else like I did for him.  It was so easy and comfortable and right-at least I thought so.  But I've got to keep trying and maybe one day it will happen.

The memories still make me sad and happy all at the same time.  They are great memories...and then I realize that's all I'll ever have of him.   At least I'll always have those, and it's time to make some new ones with new people.  It would be great to find someone that wants to be with me....and shouldn't I want that?  Why keep wasting so much thought and energy on someone who doesn't want to be with me?  I'll end tonight with this quote, "Don't make someone a priority if you are just their option."

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