Sunday, January 31, 2010

A phone call??

I guess my response to his email elicited a few text messages back and forth, which then led to a phone call.  I was laying on the couch and when I heard his ringtone, I almost stopped breathing.  We talked, not too comfortably, for about fifteen minutes.  I think between being exhausted from this week and confused about him, I didn't know what to say or how to act.  I still couldn't confront him.  We talked a little about my grandma, his family, and work.  It was so nice to hear his voice, though.  The heart ache even subsided just slightly.

I am so confused as to what to do.  I know what the right thing would be.  Will I be able to keep communicating with him knowing what I do?  Will this be progress or regression?  There will never be anything but friendship between us now.  Can I handle that?  Am I ready for that?  I just don't know.  He's married, he's lying, and what does he want with me?  Why can't he be honest with me and why can't he just let me go if things are so good with his new wife?

I can't let this torture last for long or surely it will destroy me.

1 comment:

Your thoughts are welcome here :)