Can't sleep...

I'm having trouble sleeping and I have to be up in about six hours.  This is nothing unusual of late.  My thoughts just won't turn off-all the burning questions.  This Thursday, it will be a whole month since I've heard from him.  He wished me a happy new year on January 1st and then got married on January 3rd.  I "accidentally" found this information out; he didn't tell me.  Guess it's good to be curious and do a little investigating, but you have to be careful.  You might not like what you find out.  I haven't heard from him since New Year's Eve, so he's not aware that I know.   I just wonder what his intentions had been and why he didn't just tell me.  Why did he pretend to care about me?  Why didn't he end it when he realized his feelings for this other girl?   I haven't confronted him about it, either.  I haven't tried to contact him since I found out; I just don't have the strength.  I shouldn't want to talk to him anyway; I don't think any normal person would.  But I do.  That's so not  right.  I wish my heart and my head would get on the same page.  I wish my heart would stop loving him.  These constant thoughts in my head right now-no wonder sleep escapes me.  I'm tired...