This morning, I woke up sad with thoughts of him on my mind. I think about him with his new wife. I have mean thoughts-hoping he's not happy with her or her with him. Does he think about me at all? I sometimes want to ask him, but wouldn't it be better just to let it go? It's not like I am going to change anything. Marriage is so "permanent", but I guess not quite as much these days. He hasn't tried to communicate with me in any form. I think I'm struggling with this because we talked all the time and just to all of a sudden not...I miss him. I wish I didn't. I wish my days weren't filled with thoughts of him.
I want to stop thinking about them together because it breaks my heart. I don't even know her; she may be a wonderful person. I wouldn't think she ever knew about me.
In an effort to heal, I've been keeping myself exhaustingly busy these past three weeks with work and friends. Thank God for my friends! I can't take sitting around alone. I don't want to cry anymore.