Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A life destroyed

Upon entering the room, the crowing was remarkable
with each labored breath he took.
The oxygen mask to his face, his neck sinking in
with each inhalation.
You would think I was describing an old man,
a smoker of the majority of his days.
But no, he is merely a seven month old
who fell to the destructive hands of his dad.
A beautiful boy with a full life ahead
suddenly destroyed by the anger
of a man who lacked patience.
The rest of his days will be spent
locked in a body that does not function
with a mind that does not see or hear.
He eats through the tube in his belly and
will soon receive a tube in his trachea
to help him breath.
And while he is locked in his body,
his dad will spend his days locked in a cell.
But is it fair that he will be able to see, hear,
breath through his nose,
and eat with his mouth?



**this is a post for Magpie Tales.  Click the link to read some terrific writers and try it out for yourself.
I'm also posting this to Oneshot Wednesday where some very talented writers meet :)

25 comments:

  1. Caty, this is very sad and powerful,
    I know it is a tragedy that a young boy's life is destroyed by the carelessness or ignorance of his father...both lives are locked away...

    thanks for such an extraordinary tale.
    you have a sense of awesomeness that not everyone has, I appreciate your talent and courage in doing so.

    At least, hope that readers of this piece will stop, think, and weigh the issue and

    Best wishes!
    absolutely beautiful magpie!

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  2. dang caty...heartbreaking piece...told wondrfully...but...glad that dad at least is finding justic in some ways...all too real for me...i see this all too often.

    you should drop this at oneshot tonight, if you want...it should be read.

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  3. Horrific! Hard to digest! Extremely well written.

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  4. well done....but so hard to comprehend the damage done to such a little one.

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  5. It's a Cold, Cruel, Unfair world we live in My Dear.
    I'm very grateful for the good things I have.
    Great story...G

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  6. Recently, in our area, a 19 year old man killed his infant daughter. Tragic that the innocent suffer.

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  7. this was so sad !!! Wonder where the world is leading with all this anger :|


    PS : you got a beautiful log look :)

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  8. this is horrible - have seen things like this as well - lives destroyed in some minutes - and it's so sad - and it's so good you touch this topic

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  9. It's a hard one to read - it rips right at the heart. But we need to. There are too many of these.

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  10. Powerful and heartbreaking story.
    Vividly described.
    Seems almost to sacred a thing for mere words. But you found the right ones and gave the victim dignity with them.

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  11. Sick and heartbreaking... sigh... why?
    (Great writing)

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  12. vivid and hauntingly true. i've seen babies like this in the Neo Intensive ... i cried for them, and i cried for thanks that mine was a survivor. (my circumstances were very different than the one you painted here.)

    thank you for sharing,

    warm smiles,

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  13. Raw piece, and incredibly sad. Unfortunately, it's a side of life we don't like to see.

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  14. Powerful.
    I at first thought of my 83 yr. old father in his last days before he decided to courageously free himself of all medical constraints and go to meet my mom and God.
    But then you clarified and my thoughts went to problems at birth.
    Then I finally stilled my thoughts and caught up with you.
    Deeply moving.
    As a high school teacher I see the effects of parental anger on kids. What's truly tough is when you see the bruises in the eyes, but none on the body--our court system doesn't deal with those kinds of blows.

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  15. oh...that was sad..as a parent i shuddered...things like this make me angry...and sadly i am reading about them far too often in the papers..thanks for sharing this though provoking piece..cheers Pete

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  16. A very touching magpie. Heartbreaking... horrible things happen and sometimes there is nothing we can do.

    Thank you for sharing.

    loveNlight
    Gabi

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  17. Heart wrenching, might want to expand on the theme and see where it takes you

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  18. It is good you can get these feelings out on your blog. Heart breaking. You are a peds nurse???
    You are making a difference by giving your love.
    I've worked on the other end with these kids and there are successes

    thanks for sharing with One Shot

    Love from the Moon

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  19. Tragic & strong-- you cut to the bone with this one.

    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

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  20. Oh dear...I love kids and your piece made me so sad. As to how hurtful some parents can be is beyond me, quite awful. Thanks for sharing with one-stop.

    P/S Unrelated..you have a lovely background by the way.

    Wild Rose~

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  21. Caty Thanks for the lovely comment on my 'Gold on Film' post and i posted a different one for one-shot, i had written it sometime ago and thought of sharing it so it's harder for people to locate it when they just land on my blog since it's on archive. Below is the link enjoy it as well :)

    http://shahlarveek.blogspot.com/2010/06/feminine-intent.html

    Wild Rose~

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  22. This so incredibly sad. As I read, I was so hoping that his dad would spend his days locked behind bars as he spends his locked in his body. It may not be justice that his dad can use all his senses, but the consolation is that he will use those senses to discover what abuse feels like.

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  23. Found you via Wild Rose, and you just made my heart sink. How such atrocities occur I'll never understand.

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  24. oh caty, my heart just sank to my feet KNOWING that while this particular magpie may only be a story, you've surely got to see so much more of this than i could ever imagine. all i can say is thank God that He chooses such compassionate people, as you are, to lovingly meet the needs of those who are so helpless...

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  25. I have been a social worker and work in social policy so know of the personal tragedies this poem tells of. The father is too often a victim as much as the child...Thanks for dropping by and reading Campaigning. I’m drawn to poetry as a storytelling technique and this was about the life of a woman emptied out by the political ambitions of her husband.

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Your thoughts are welcome here :)