I'm broke...the weekends are the worst.

Two weeks ago, he asked me if I'd want to hang out-and I haven't talked to him since.  I just don't get why he needs to keep playing with me like that.  Is he being truthful when he says he wants to see me and that he always had fun with me?  Why does he keep saying such if it's not true? 

And why do I even keep considering it?   He's married.  That thought keeps escaping me; no, not really-I guess I am just in denial.  That isn't healthy;  I shouldn't even want to see him or talk to him.  I guess I should be thankful he's three and a half hours away; it makes it really easy not to run into him.  My problem is that I would love to run into him . 

I may give in to the temptation to text him today.  I know I shouldn't, but I'd love to know he's ok-not that I should expect a response.

I've been out with two other guys since he broke my heart.  I didn't feel a thing.  Am I ruined?  Will I ever find someone else that excites me, that I have fun with, that I can love? 

I know I sound pathetic, and I don't like it myself.  I think, even though I tried not to, I put too much hope that my blind date would be "exciting" and what I needed.  Although it was a nice time, I was disappointed.  It's not going to go anywhere most likely.  I didn't feel any kind of attraction.  So, I'm back at square one and woke up feeling empty again.  What was it that made him so "perfect" for me?